The bride's dress and hair preparations begin early in the morning. The hairdresser's bill will be excessive. Everyone is full of joy and generosity on that day. The bride's family tip the hairdresser and his staff with a generosity hitherto unseen, and seek to appear aristocratic and wealthy. On that day, everyone behaves like a professional-events organizer. They shower orders and money right and left. The mother distributes money to everyone for all sorts of things, necessary or otherwise, and the father makes a scene because of that. During this time, people frequently withdraw into corners to weep.

Then it is time for the photographs. People sit down before the photographer in front of a cloth background with pictures of clouds on it, in tones of red, blue and white. The groom poses next to the bride. Photographs are then taken, in which insincerity is written plain for all to see. These photographs will later be brought out to be shown to others for a whole lifetime—which is indeed the reason for having them taken in the first place. Everyone has to see the kind of wedding the bride had and what kind of dress she wore, and how impressive the groom looked.

On the way to the ceremony, the car carrying the couple is decorated beyond all recognition. Lace and stickers adorn the rear windows, and gold-leafed cardboard letters are arranged on top, representing the bride and groom's initials. Clichéd phrases such as "Just Married" are placed on the licence plate. A plastic baby is often placed on the front of the car, representing the couple's future baby. The families decide long beforehand what the bride and groom will do and where, which answers they will give to whom, when they will smile and when they will cry.

The wedding guests calculate their own best interests. If the son or daughter of any of them is to get engaged or married shortly, the families will pin an expensive gift onto the bride, so that their child will be given something equally expensive when the time comes. Such gifts are attached in the most eye-catching way, in the reception room in full view of everyone. All the guests want to be the star of the occasion. People use videos to record the gift-pinning ceremony. The aim here is to determine who gives what. When the time comes to pin a gift for a similar occasion onto a guest, the aim is for that gift to be only as expensive as that individual's gift. Giving anything better is regarded as plain silly, while giving anything less expensive spells poverty.

Everyone has now done what is expected of them. The guests are happy to have had a free meal. The families are happy at being able to show off and to strike a good deal in the bargain. The bride and groom are tired and stressed. The ceremony of moving from table to table, kissing or shaking hands is now performed. Everyone's eyes are on the couple, who must behave with the greatest care.

Just about everyone at a wedding of the kind described above has similar goals in mind: showing off to others, material calculations and far from sincere behavior requiring everyone's eyes to be on them. Yet very few think about Allah. None of them think of freeing themselves from their preoccupations and remembering Allah, or giving thanks to Him. They do not consider whether their actions will meet with His approval. They are unaware that the money they have spent unnecessarily may be a waste.

The classic attitudes and behavior that Ignorantist society displays at the wedding of a standard-level individual depict their psychology. Of course, some get married in a very different mindset and environment. Various segments of society may have different attitudes towards introductions, preparations for marriage and the ceremonies themselves. Some people meet through the auspices of intermediaries or their families, and others meet their future spouses at university, at work, or through friends. Some marry at ordinary special-purpose halls, while other weddings are held at five-star hotels and are much more showy and magnificent. Some people adopt a more classical and traditional style, and others a more modern European one. To attract attention, some people are careful to do very different and original things.

Yet it's only the location, the décor or the way the couple meets that changes. The important point is that in the society of the ignorant, marriage is practiced with a most distorted logic. Marriage is not the formal joining of two people who love and respect one another, but has become an odd institution in which hundreds of ignorant customs and peculiar ceremonies are held, based on show and calculations of self-interest and adorned with insincere and hypocritical behavior.

No matter what their cultural or social status, when it comes to marriage, the fundamental logic, attitudes and psychology of members of the Religion of the Ignorant are exactly the same in terms of show, expectations and self-interest. They implement to the letter the mentality revealed in the verse:

Know that the life of this world is merely a game and a diversion and ostentation and a cause of boasting among yourselves and trying to outdo one another in wealth and children... (Surat al-Hadid, 20)

Indeed, since there is no place in Ignorantism for such concepts as observing the approval of Allah, maintaining the bounds set by Him and living in the manner He has set out, all that remains is the path of Earthly desires, wants, passions and greed. Though the forms and methods may change, the mentality remains the same.

After Marriage

The distorted mentality dealt with in the preceding pages persists after the wedding. The bride and groom experience the first pangs of regret when they see each other on the morning after the wedding. Since they have generally not seen each other in that state before, they already begin to repel one another. As they begin living together in the same house, they witness each other's peculiar habits and abnormalities of which they were hitherto unaware. The person who was once so splendid in their eyes begins to lose value, and that soon leads to cooler relations between them. As time passes, these negative emotions they harbor towards one another increase. Since the idea of love between them is superficial, they soon see that the emotions they believed to be love have turned into an enforced familiarity.

For the first few months, husband and wife try not to let these feelings show and to get on with one another, in order not to let down appearances. But as time passes, they begin to lose respect, to be coarse, offensive, intolerant and thoughtless, behaving in such a way as to make it clear they have fallen out with each other. However, they try not to let on to those around them. Nonetheless, everyone is actually well aware of the situation, and this phenomenon is regarded as a natural process. An interesting indication of this is the way that the first days of marriage are called the honeymoon. Clearly the honeymoon will soon come to an end, and years full of exasperation, trouble and even conflict will begin.

As the marriage moves on, general problems such as children and making ends meet, and the psychology problems these engender, come to dominate. Constant tension and limited relations between the members of the household are experienced. Money is a constant subject of argument. Matters such as control and jealousy between husband and wife give rise to tension and conflict. The man constantly talks about work, he never listens to his wife and constantly watches the television and is uninterested in or bad-tempered toward their children. This constitutes the natural climate of the household.

Untidiness generally prevails. Little attention is paid to cleanliness. That is why married people do not want their homes to be seen under normal conditions. The furniture, accessories, tablecloths etc. in the house are arranged not for the comfort of those living there, but in order to be appreciated by others. A separate room is set aside for guests. Those living in the house do not generally use that part of the house used for show. The most expensive and best-quality items in the house are exhibited there for the benefit of guests.

Apart from the house, the children are the main element of display. Indeed, there is an enormous distortion in the attitude towards children right from the outset. Mother and father imagine that they own their children, as if they had given them life. Nobody thinks that it is really Allah Who creates and is the true Lord of everything. Parents who assume ownership of their children then begin frequently referring to how intelligent or attractive their children are, and boast of the fact, as if their children's beauty or intelligence actually stemmed from them. They even take credit for any positive features in their children by saying, "Of course he takes after me." This showing off by means of the children increases as time passes. The schools they attend, their circle of friends and the places they visit are all described to everyone. In addition to boasting through one's children, the custom of making them the sole purpose and meaning of one's life is also widespread among families of the Religion of the Ignorant.

Some parents regard their children as their sole reason for living, and claim that they have devoted their entire lives to preparing a better future for them. The fact is, however, that the sole aim of every human life is to serve Allah. Life is to be devoted solely to Allah. Caring for one's children is a form of religious observance to be performed solely for His approval.

Women's entire lives are focused on the aim of getting married. From earliest childhood, this objective is held up as the most important goal in life. Girls regulate their weight, clothes, education, tastes and acquaintances in the hope of an advantageous marriage. A great many girls go to university to "find a husband," because an educated husband, especially a successful one, is seen as a guarantee in life. In her dreams, a young girl establishes a model husband who will maintain, protect and watch over her, and so spends her youth looking for him. The fact is, however, as revealed in the Qur'an, that it is Allah, and Him only Who feeds and protects people, and Who is worthy of one's hopes of assistance.

Within this logic, marriage ceases to be a legitimate manner of expressing love between two people and turns into an institution—by which name it is often referred to. The lovelessness, lack of respect and behavioral defects that soon arise give couples the feeling that they have made a mistake. Yet there is now generally no turning back. Even if there were, that would be no solution. Just like marriage itself, divorce will take place according to the requirements of Ignorantism, and the life that follows will be led according to those same requirements.

If an error is to be found, it needs to sought not in isolated events, but in the false philosophy underneath them, on which the entire distorted system is erected, and which leads people to unhappiness, disappointment and loss in every situation—in other words, in the Religion of the Ignorant itself.

The Psychology of "Femininity"

in Ignorantism

One of the most important suggestions that the religion of the ignorant inculcates in society is the various personal and mental structures identified by that religion and imposed on to people according to their gender. Among believers, however, character does not change according to gender. There is one common soul among the faithful. But in Ignorantism, one's character changes according to a person's gender, under the effect of an artificial distinction and social propaganda.

As a result of powerful indoctrination by the Religion of the Ignorant, women have assumed a rather weak character and a less than fully competent nature. Qualities like courage, intelligence, determination, agility, reason, competence and resistance to trouble and difficulty have no place in the roles set out for women in Ignorantism. And even where these are present, they are always faint and faulty. Both men and women share the prejudiced view that all these good characteristics need to be present in men. Elements such as jealousy, capriciousness, complaining, helplessness and sentimentality have always been defined as feminine.

The Religion of the Ignorant imposes a burden on women in the form of helplessness, irrationality, ignorance, naiveté and incompetence. In the light of the rules of this religion, women assume that appearance and, willingly or not, accept the obligation to reflect those defects. That state of mind imposed on women causes a very different personality to emerge, with all the attendant attitudes and behavior. The subconscious idea has been planted that these spiritual and psychological weaknesses are natural, part and parcel of being a woman. Women who adopt the role of irrationality, ignorance and incompetence shaped by society gradually do become genuinely irrational, ignorant and incompetent.

In the eyes of this religion, the aspects of women that need to be brought to the fore are those that make them female, such as facial and bodily beauty—rather than intellectual and spiritual beauty—, and sentimentality. Even those who believe themselves members of the most cultured and contemporary section of society still abide by this rule.

Distorted views and moral values peculiar to Ignorantism are constructed around this fundamental logic.

Inability to think heads the list of the characteristics prescribed by the Religion of the Ignorant. A woman who has adopted this belief therefore feels no need to exercise her mind on any subject. By making use of others' thoughts, she is unable to offer a solution on any matter, but merely implements those put before her. If her family falls on economic hard times, she will leave the solution to her husband to find. She herself, however, will offer no alternative as to what will be most advantageous to them or how they should go about making ends meet. She will see herself as being totally outside the issue, beyond accusing her husband of not bringing home enough money.

In Ignorantism, the female character is closed to development and progress. For that reason, a great many women make no effort to enhance their culture, abilities or experience. They tend not to follow scientific developments, technology, the economy or politics. The only fields of interest left to them are their own appearance, clothes, or makeup or matters to do with their domestic happiness.

Even faith is offered ready-made in the Religion of the Ignorant. A woman will shape her own belief in the direction of whatever her husband believes. If her intended spouse is a religious man, she will start taking an interest in religion. If he has no faith or behaves flexibly with regard to Allah's commandments, she will again begin living like him, even if in her heart of hearts she is aware of Allah's existence. She completely adopts the logical framework, perspective, tastes, world view and other judgments of her betrothed, and spends the rest of her life accordingly. For that reason, most women who live by Ignorantism have no understanding of right and wrong of their own. They set out a path for themselves by adopting the value judgments of their husband, of their boyfriend, or of their parents.

In order to survive, women who live by this religion need support and protection. Indeed, they generally do not protect any weak and despairing people around them, nor strive on their behalf. They protect nobody, but are protected themselves, and make an effort for nobody, though others strive for the sake of their comfort.

Fear is another component of this superstitious religion's females. Many women think they need to exhibit fearful reactions in situations where they are not actually fearful at all. They scream theatrically, cover their faces with their hands, and appear to be very excited. For example, a woman who goes to a horror film may act as if she is very frightened, though in reality she is quite unaffected. She may exhibit sudden and exaggerated reactions in the face of incidents that have nothing frightening about them at all, which even a child could face with courage. The society of the ignorant believes that fear becomes a woman, or is a requirement of being one. The fact is, though, no entity or phenomenon is to be feared apart from Allah. All people are responsible for realizing that fact and (with the exception of physical reflexes) sincerely abiding by it.

Another feature set out for women by the society of the ignorant is, as already mentioned, a lack of manual dexterity. Many women are raised from early childhood to believe themselves untalented. For that reason, their physical coordination is poor and they feel no need to improve it. For example, it is regarded as perfectly normal for a woman not to learn how a broken appliance can be repaired or to understand how complex devices work. It is regarded as normal for her to fail at changing a flat tire or many other jobs requiring physical coordination. Yet this totally artificial trait is imposed on women by the Religion of the Ignorant. Many women are actually exceedingly competent and practically minded, and fail only at activities of this sort because this propaganda makes them believe they lack ability. It is of course natural that they should be unable to perform tasks exceeding their physical strength, but everything else is a result of their indoctrination.

Ignorantism's view of women is a most belittling one. From early childhood, women in the Religion of the Ignorant are fed such ideas as "If you don't learn to be a good cook, if you are slovenly, if you don't study, you'll never get married. If you don't look after your appearance, you'll find yourself left on the shelf." In sending their daughters to private schools, teaching them etiquette, and encouraging them to read books, play a musical instrument or take an interest in art, the only thing families think about is their making a good marriage. Therefore, when a girl grows up accustomed to seeing herself in that light from her earliest youth, she will want all these attributes to be recompensed in material form. Therefore, money is always of prime importance to such women. They never want to marry anyone who can't reward them for the attributes they possess in material ways. They imagine that they'll be "wasted," as they put it, in unions of such types. Therefore, if the husband of an Ignorantist woman doesn't earn enough money, this inevitably becomes the subject of conflict. She complains that she is undervalued, by his failing to look after her properly. Why did she marry him when she could have had someone else? Why did she ruin her life by marrying him? That is why, in the Religion of the Ignorant, the subject of money is always a problem in marriages.

The character of women in the society of the ignorant is described as intrigue-loving and cunning in many verses of the Qur'an. One verse concerns the actions of the woman who had the Prophet Yusuf (as) thrown into prison because of her intrigues:

He saw the shirt torn at the back and said, "The source of this is women's deviousness. Without a doubt your guile is very great." (Surah Yusuf, 28)

"Feminine wiles," as they are commonly referred to, are based on hypocrisy and deceiving others. Ignorantism, however, has established a model that legitimizes the way that a woman gives the impression that she is naïve and innocent to soften a man's heart, or fills her eyes with tears and starts weeping when she wants him to do something. She spreads gossip about a woman she is jealous of, seeming to praise her while actually running her down. She adopts a cold, uninterested air so the others should take an interest in her and to show how valuable she is, and gives the impression that, despite her own wishes, she is sought after and a subject of interest. Never calling her boyfriend on the phone or asking after his well-being, and not being joyful and chatty—all are all feminine tactics in the Religion of the Ignorant. A young girl will be seen more often with other male friends in order to make her boyfriend jealous, adopting a greater interest in the men around her, pretending to be interested in someone in whom she really isn't—all this is part and parcel of the feminine wiles she has learned since childhood.

The female character of Ignorantism is built on fundamental guile. Therefore, a woman raised in that belief can actually develop a very cruel nature while appearing to be tearful, soft and innocent. She may shed floods of tears in order to obtain more money from her husband who is experiencing financial difficulties. She may resort to caprices and initiate conflict to obtain an expensive new outfit. Adding further to the burdens of someone already in a difficult situation solely for one's own comfort and interests, while appearing on the surface to be so sensitive, is exceptionally cruel behavior.

One can also frequently encounter women in the Religion of the Ignorant who join with other women to plan how to rule their husbands. This is a behavioral defect entirely directed by satan. They determine a policy aimed at governing their husbands through specific tactics they learn from one another. They give one another advice such as, "Make him his favorite dinner. Be pleasant and tell him how much the new dress you want costs while he is watching his favorite program. Or first make him a cup of tea, light his cigarette, chat about this and that. And then once he is relaxed, get around to the subject at hand." These are the strategies such women set out in their husbands' absence. Among the intrigues women teach one another is such insincere advice as, "If you want to make him jealous, get dressed up, go out and come home late. Don't pay him too much attention if you want to keep him interested. The more interest you show in him, the quicker he'll cheat on you."

Ignorantism encourages people to have different mindsets and psychologies, according to their physical traits and differences. In contrast, the religion described in the Qur'an directs people to have one perfect state of mind, an ideal personality and a superior moral understanding, with no regard to gender. Different moral and psychological models envisaged for men and women have no place in the religion of Allah. This is frequently emphasized in the Qur'an. In total contrast to the Religion of the Ignorant, it is revealed that both men and women of faith possess the single, common and ideal moral values and character of the believer:

Men and women who are Muslims, men and women who are believers, men and women who are obedient, men and women who are truthful, men and women who are steadfast, men and women who are humble, men and women who give charity, men and women who fast, men and women who guard their chastity, men and women who remember Allah much: Allah has prepared forgiveness for them and an immense reward. (Surat al-Ahzab, 35)

The men and women of the believers are friends of one another. They command what is right and forbid what is wrong, and perform prayer and give the alms, and obey Allah and His messenger. They are the people on whom Allah will have mercy. Allah is Almighty, All-Wise. (Surat at-Tawba, 71)

As stated above, there may be such social arrangements as division of labor and sharing of responsibilities based on the physical differences between men and women. These do not justify, however, contrary to everyone's conception—and consisting entirely of the indoctrination of Ignorantism—such gender distinctions as women cooking, doing the dishes and washing clothes. There is no special responsibility imposed on women on this subject in Islam. Allah has revealed that there is no distinction between men and women:

Their Lord responds to them: "I will not let the deeds of any doer among you go to waste, male or female—you are both the same in that respect. Those who migrated and were driven from their homes and suffered harm in My way and fought and were killed, I will erase their bad actions from them and admit them into Gardens with rivers flowing under them, as a reward from Allah. The best of all rewards is with Allah." (Surah Al 'Imran, 195)

In conclusion, the most rational solution is for men and women to come to an understanding and organize jobs of all kinds between themselves.

It is of course inappropriate, in the absence of a particular necessity, for women to undertake heavy labor and work like construction and lifting heavy loads that exceeds their physical capacities. Yet to interpret that to mean that women are helpless, deficient beings in need of assistance and to indoctrinate them into that mindset is the product of the Religion of the Ignorant, which contains indoctrination, direct or indirect, to the effect that women, created physically weaker, should also have weaker characters. The fact is that there is no difference between men and women, apart from the strength of their muscles. Men and women have the same responsibilities in the sight of Allah, and will both be called to account.

The model of helplessness proposed by Ignorantism turns a woman capable of acting perfectly normally, healthily, rationally and consistently, into an object of pity. Gradually, that helplessness becomes part of her character.

The woman of the Religion of the Ignorant is therefore far removed from the noble, upright and rational behavior unique to the female believer. The female character shaped by this religion contains just about all the personality defects and abnormalities that male and female believers should avoid, as described in the Qur'an.

The affected FEMALE character

The term "affected," employed to describe a particular type of human, is actually one of the varieties of character of the Ignorantist. Although its traits all violate religious moral values, it has received wide public acceptance and even respect in certain circles. The reason may be that all of this character's negative aspects have not been openly and logically compared with the moral values of the Qur'an, and have not been fully laid out for people to see. However, in this section, you will witness how people far removed from the moral values of the Qur'an implement this character with all its defects.

The Affected Character Is Built on a Facade

One of the main features of the affected personality is how the individuals who bear it never uses their true mindset or personality. Their entire lives are built on affectation. They never react to events in a genuine or sincere way. They never reveal genuine love, say what they really think, or speak to reveal their true state of mind.

Affectation is the principal trait of those who possess a false spirit. For example, a person with an affected character may appear to be very distressed in the face of an event which actually touches her not at all. Despite actually feeling nothing inside, she may try to give the impression of how upsetting the event was by such expressions as "Oh dear! Whatever happened next?" and "How terrible!" In reacting in that way, also affected are her tone of voice, looks, facial expression, gestures and even posture. Such a person may never once have revealed her true face, spoken with her true voice or reflected her authentic personality even to close friends with whom she has spent the previous 40 years.

Someone with an affected character never feels or displays true love for anyone else, because selfishness predominates alongside affectation. The person most loved by someone with such a nature is herself. She likes herself much more than she does anyone else. She believes herself to be more intelligent and cultured than anyone else, and attaches no importance to anyone else, including her children, spouse and parents. She is therefore unable to approach anyone with a genuine, sincere love. Any displays of affection are therefore a façade. She never, for example, embraces the person in front of her, compliments others, or mentions their positive traits in a genuine manner. People of this kind usually praise the other person's outfit, and ask where they got it and what it cost. Or they may like a particular hairstyle and ask where the person had it done. A piece of jewelry may attract their attention, and they will compliment that. Yet they never praise another's moral virtues, or the attractive aspects of their appearance. They never refer to humility, compassion, patience, conscience, fear of Allah or generosity. Neither do they wish to give people's physical features any pre-eminence. They are thus unable to show love and win people's hearts.