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The custom of Ignorantism, whereby people are classified according to beneficial interests, is shaped during high school years. Groups in high schools are bound together by mutual interests. These groups are generally formed by youngsters from families of similar income levels, students from similar socio-economic circles, diligent students or lazy students. The class as a whole unites only in the face of other classes or against the teachers.
Attitudes welcomed in the Religion of the Ignorant are moral defects such as opportunism and arrogance, rather than virtues indicated in the Qur'an, such as modesty, honesty and submission to Allah. This distorted logic first develops in high school, where students will be popular because of their wealth, attractiveness or "attitude." The way they walk, dress, speak and move become the fashion and are imitated by others. High schools always have their own styles of walking, laughing and dressing. The classic style is a blasé air, an insolent facial expression caring nothing for what is around it, a bag on one shoulder, and a rolling, ponderous, indifferent gait. Laughing loudly and swearing are thought to be signs of character and are widely esteemed. The subjects that groups of friends discuss are generally the same. Girls talk about people they like, clothes and make-up; and boys discuss girls, clothes, football, teachers and lessons.
Judging people not according to their character and moral values but by their material wealth is a deviant sickness of Ignorantism. At high school, it is most important to appear to be wealthy, and intense efforts are made to that end.
Someone wearing ordinary clothes will generally find it hard to approach a group wearing designer labels. It is essential to be beautiful or wealthy to join. An ugly student will be unable to join a group whose members are handsome or beautiful. The caprices of the rich and beautiful are generally tolerated, and a blind eye turned to their spoiled behavior, because they are the source of the group's prestige and pride. Even taking the school bus is regarded as a sign of wealth up to a certain age. As many additions as possible are made to the school uniform to give the impression of being well-off. Girls try to wear high-quality, expensive hair clips. Both boys and girls have a strong interest in brand labels. Designer sweaters and socks all stem from an effort to give the impression of wealth. That's why the best way for a family to please their high school children is to buy them designer outfits. The less well-off compete by means of a few brand-name clothes they've saved up for, because the most important criterion is money and the signs thereof. Money is the way to be esteemed and popular with those around.
Even as examples of poor moral values begin to seem attractive, so good values begin to be denigrated. Attitudes like modesty and honesty begin to seem unattractive. Being hard-working is only esteemed in internal school relations. Taking notes, copying or studying together forges friendships between certain hard-working but asocial types. In choosing one's friends, it is important to select the most entertaining. Ethics are not considered a prime consideration. It's entertainment value and making jokes that matter. As a result, friendships are always temporary and are not based on sound foundations. As their true characters begin to form, students split away from one another, since as people grow older, more powerful interests than making others laugh and entertaining them come to the fore.
Everyone will have a best friend, to whom they will confide what happens with their boy or girlfriend, and with whom they will share all their secrets. Their sincerity will be in direct proportion to the level of information imparted on that subject. They will confide their thoughts about everyone to that person alone, and will expect them to do the same in return. This is a friendship of confidences. The fact they know things about each other that nobody else does represents a special source of pleasure for the pair concerned. In order to give the impression they know certain things to make others jealous, such sincere friends whisper to one another in group situations, and look one another in the eye and smile.
It never enters a student's head whether their friend has proper moral values, is a believer, has faith, or is honest. Important matters of that kind are not generally grasped during the high school period. Devout people are laughed at, so nobody easily speaks of their beliefs.
Relations between the genders are based upon exploiting one another. Boys tickle or slap girls playfully on the pretext of being intimate. They're keen for their friends to see them together with the girl who can earn them the most prestige. As for girls, going out with the most handsome boy in the class is also a source of pride. Partners are also exchanged in groups of boys and girls. When they tire of one, they start going out with a friend's ex boy- or girlfriend, and tend to criticize whoever they have just split up with.
Everyone must go out over the weekends in order to have something to talk about on Monday morning. If they've not actually been anywhere, they will start to make up fantasies in order not to feel at a disadvantage, and will relate these stories as if they were real. Girls and boys take pleasure in making double entendres or being sharp-tongued, beginning as a form of defense mechanism against other people but eventually becoming a normal style. Since a group psychology generally dominates in schools, those with a very placid and easygoing nature entering school suddenly adapt to the group psychology and begin doing and saying things they never would normally. Wrong and ugly behavior is welcomed within the group. When with the group, students risk doing things they would never do alone. They oppose their teachers and wolf-whistle at girls, trying to maintain their position in the group.
Seeking others' approval, one of the most significant characteristics of the Religion of the Ignorant, also begins during the high school years. Seeking to prove oneself is a widespread phenomenon. Students constantly seek approval from teachers, friends and relatives. Since these all must be pleased differently, they adopt a number of different personalities, which leads to a rather distorted character emerging. During this time, the feature of Ignorantism of changing personality is acquired. The structure expected by the group matters in the formation of a person's character, not his own will. Since different requests come from all kinds of people, an unstable morality develops. This is very definitely the exact opposite of the moral values of a believer, who serves Allah alone, seeks His approval only, tries to please only Him, and therefore possesses a very sound and stable character. This difference between believers and deniers is described thus in the Qur'an:
Allah has made a metaphor for them of a man owned by several partners in dispute with one another and another man wholly owned by a single man. Are they the same? Praise be to Allah! The fact is that most of them do not know. (Surat az-Zumar, 29)
The different classifications among students in various forms in the Religion of the Ignorant may be summarized under the following names:
The rebellious type: Their most distinguishing characteristic is their being indifferent to everything and standing up for themselves. They are derogative in every word, incident and environment. They oppose their teachers, mock everyone, have an inordinate amount of self-confidence and constantly make jokes. They are actually sensitive and generally insecure, but seek to cover that up with untoward and difficult behavior. They never reveal their emotionality, speak coarsely and want to be seen as cold types. Since they have to behave in the manner expected of them, they never let their fear or sadness appear on the surface. These people are invariably invited to parties and social occasions, because they entertain others and make them laugh.
The angst-ridden type: These are pessimistic, always troubled and unable to adapt to any environment. They constantly complain about everything. Nothing pleases them, and they find something wrong with everyone. Introverted, they never reveal their true thoughts, and generally have no friends. Since there is nothing entertaining about them, they are not very popular.
The spoiled type generally comes from wealthy backgrounds. They always stress their wealth at every available opportunity. In conflict situations, they always involve their families as a way of overcoming the problem. This type tends to seek its own personality in its family's wealth.
The swotty type regards themselves as inferior to their peers because of various physical imperfections. In order to compensate, they emphasize their knowledge and concentrate on their studies. They seek to attract attention by establishing an expertise in specific subjects, such as electronics, computers or collecting. They take every available opportunity to bring these subjects up to demonstrate their knowledge.
Any high school consists of a number of types, a few of which we have listed here. When the value judgments of Ignorantism form in students' minds, the main ones are factors such as being entertaining, wealthy or showy. Young people learn to judge others not in terms of moral values like honesty, sincerity, altruism—or, most important of all, faith—but in terms of what benefits might accrue to themselves. As they grow older, their high-school interests such as being entertaining or showing off give way to more powerful ones.
In people who become accustomed to blind belief in rules whose reasons they are unaware of, the mechanisms of reason and conscience are relegated to the background and abandoned to atrophy, at just the most productive period for their development.
Another culture of Ignorantism that starts during this period or shortly afterwards is the psychology of courting. Young men and women raised in a self-interested, selfish way begin to form distorted male-female relationships and prepare themselves for an equally distorted concept of marriage in the period that follows.
A young man who suggests to a girl that they go out together is also offering her a complete package, including his behavior, his manner of speech, troubles, caprices, the places he goes and manner of approaching people. The structure of this package, based on mutual insecurity, is such as to demean both parties and help cause them lose their personalities when put into practice. This relationship model between people maintains its fundamental elements for years, altering only in terms of places attended, clothing, style and behavior in accord with conditions of the time.
During the courting period, both parties share the same state of mind, ways of thinking and looking at events. Indeed, the precondition to experience such a period in the first place is to possess the state of mind it requires. It is impossible to adopt the behavior this system requires with a normal state of mind. This particular state can be experienced only in an environment when emotions hold sway and reason and moral judgments cease to apply.
In deciding whether to go steady, the major factor is how much display this partnership can achieve. Even if the other party isn't much liked, still it's important to have someone around to show and so not to have to go places all alone. It is hugely embarrassing for a student to have no one to go out with. Neither party uses their own true personality or behaves honestly in order to bind the other to them. They assume a second personality instead.
There is a certain way of meeting and beginning to talk and to date, for every two people who want to date each other.
The girl starts going to particular places in order to meet the person she likes. She first identifies someone at a party, in school or on holiday. She starts to walk around and laugh in such a way as to attract his attention, and seeks to join the group and meet the other party's friends. It's essential in doing this not to allow the boy to sense her interest, though her attention is actually entirely focused on him.
After they have met, the first features to come up for scrutiny are physical appearance and wealth. Make of car, where the other person lives, where they spend the summer, the school they attend, the accessories they wear—all give a fair idea of whether to take an interest. All these are analyzed and a plusses and minuses drawn up before making a decision whether to invite this person out.
There then follows an exchange of phone numbers and an invitation to go somewhere. It's important that the boy should be the one to issue the invitation. He also has to pay when they go out. The next day, the girl spends all day waiting by the telephone and generally doesn't leave the house. The boy will generally not call immediately, so as not to appear too keen. When speaking on the phone, they behave in a manner learned from films, and all contact with the outside world is cut off. The girl has to put on a show of reluctance, even if she actually feels nothing of the sort. After they have spent a certain amount of time in each other's company, romantic behavior begins. They lose themselves in romantic songs and in an artificial mist.
Once they have started going out together, all their tastes are readjusted. A process begins of dressing according to the taste of the other party and listening to music of the other party's choice, of giving the impression of understanding things one really does not—in short, falsehood. Seeking the other's approval, which is the fundamental motive of the Religion of the Ignorant, takes place at the very highest level. As matters grow more serious, gifts begin to be purchased, and their price tags increase over time. These presents are shown to their respective families and friends. The recipients make it clear that they are sufficiently well liked to be worth such valuable presents. Both parties seek information about the other's families and acquaintances. If one's family is rich, they will immediately seek to show the other where they live. If the family is not rich, then false appearances will be given and the other party kept at a distance. The dissemblers will behave as if they own things they do not, and have gone places they've never been to. Since they know that this will determine the value the other places on them, great expertise will be demonstrated in this area. Having a wide circle of acquaintances is a sign of wealth. They will speak of people they have never met as if they actually know them. There are always certain subject matters of conversation.
In male-female relations, no effort is made to seek the approval of Allah or to observe the bounds set by Him, just as in all other areas. It is not acceptable to be known to be devout and in awe of Allah. The subject is closed by meaningless expressions such as "Everyone has his own beliefs."
Going out is extremely important in terms of showing off to one's friends. The more people a man is seen with, the greater his status. In addition, the point of his going out with a pretty girl is to provoke his friends' envy and admiration. Girls generally prefer to go with a boy who has a flashy car, because their prestige will rise enormously when their friends at school see it. It's also important for the other party to have a nice home, for their friends to see and admire.
Their relationship is never based on love and respect. It is based on spending empty time together, wandering about, eating, showing off, mutual whispering, so signs of conflict and boredom eventually begin to appear. Girls generally weep every time there is an argument, while boys seek to appear indifferent and unemotional. Their seeking to impose their will and place pressure on each other, and the climate of insecurity between them, soon develop into major problems.
There are no such concepts as devotion and loyalty between them. Both parties know that when the other finds someone more attractive or more handsome, more wealthy or more popular, then they will be dropped at the first available opportunity. They live constantly under the strain this causes. Indeed, this subject is raised whenever possible and used as a threat. Mutual respect soon evaporates. Since they gradually realize that the one they so admired is actually just a helpless human being, even the slightest hint of this puts them off, and their love gradually fades away. Seeing the other person after they have just gotten up, sweating, with acne, or ill with a cold causes the love they feel to diminish rapidly.
They frequently humiliate one another in public. In order not to appear stupid, they say they don't like the other person, talk about their faults and laugh at them in front of friends.
Despite all this, the relationship still persists—out of the fear of failing to find anyone better. Despite all the arguments and break-ups, they still get back together if they fail to find anyone else. It seems better to have someone to go out with, no matter how unsatisfactory, than for everyone to know one is all alone.
When breaking up, it's also very important to make the first move. People often split up just for the sake of not being the one who gets dumped. Arguments and caprices are important with regard to not being easy to get along with. In the event of getting back together after a break-up, the make-up gift is of the greatest importance, because its cost will show how much that person is valued.
The courting period is when the boy and girl's personalities, moral values and self-respect gradually disappear. Such a period, largely built around show, materialism, pessimism and insincerity, will have permanent destructive effects on the later life of young people just beginning to mature and learn about life.
All this shows how empty and troublesome the relationship model of Ignorantism known as courting or going out together truly is. Yet for many people looking in from the outside, that period appears most enjoyable and delightful. Films are largely responsible for that image. Thousands of movies have depicted this period as one that makes two people in a relationship see the world through rose-colored glasses, and constitutes the happiest moments of their lives. However, this fine picture has nothing to do with real life. Just as with all other relationships in the Religion of the Ignorant, male-female relationships are conducted with insincere and self-interested logic. Both parties enter a troubled, depressive state of mind due to their pride, urge to show off, insincerity and insecurity.
This is in fact a consequence of the hollow life of this world being adorned with baubles, which fact is frequently emphasized in the Qur'an. The main characteristic of satan, who will endeavor until the Last Day to turn people from the true path, is portraying the world as so attractive. Satan's promise on this subject goes:
He said, "My Lord, because You misled me, I will make things on the Earth seem good to them and I will mislead them all, every one of them." (Surat al-Hijr, 39)
If a person fails to use his reason, he will fall under satan's spell and be deceived by the false façade of things in this world that are actually hollow, transitory and troubling.
This also applies to courting, or dating. A young man or woman enters the emotional atmosphere they have viewed in films or learned about from those around them. They imagine that by entering a relationship, they will be the happiest people on Earth. But the fact is, they will soon realize that there is no perfect relationship such as they had imagined. Yet even that will not inspire them to think. They will simply believe they got bored with their old flame and need to start looking for a new one.
Alternatively, they see marriage as a great ambition, imagining that true happiness will begin once they have achieved it. They thus enter a vicious circle, which they can never escape until the day they die, since they fail to use reason. They have now fallen under the scope of the verse in the Qur'an that reads:
To those who disbelieve, the life of this world is painted in glowing colors... (Surat al-Baqara, 212)
They have joined the ranks of those described here:
And what of him the evil of whose actions appears fine to him so that he sees them as good?... (Surah Fatir, 8)
In another verse the situation of such people is revealed in these terms:
As for those who do not believe in the Hereafter, We have made their actions appear good to them and they wander about blindly. (Surat an-Naml, 4)
The adornments of this world are deceptive, because they are not real and permanent. The blessings in this world have been created only as an imperfect example of the true blessings in the Hereafter. It is possible to take true pleasure from these blessings only when one realizes that they have been created by Allah as poor examples of the true blessings of the Hereafter. The only way of attaining peace and comfort in this world is to turn to Allah. As revealed in one verse, "... Only in the remembrance of Allah can the heart find peace" (Surat ar-Ra'd, 28).
Since members of Ignorantism are unable to comprehend this, they forget Allah and, imagining that the adornments of this world are real, solid and permanent, they turn from the true path—and suffer as a consequence. The way that deniers are taken in by the life of this world is described as follows in one verse:
But the actions of those who disbelieve are like a mirage in the desert. A thirsty man thinks it is water but when he reaches it, he finds it to be nothing at all, but he finds Allah there. He will pay him his account in full. Allah is swift at reckoning. (Surat an-Nur, 39)
In terms of hopes, dreams and expectations, there is no difference between a male-female relationship lived according to the criteria of the Religion of the Ignorant and far from the approval of Allah, and a mirage, which looks highly attractive and adorned from a distance. When one encounters the truth, however, one sees that these expectations and dreams are hollow and worthless, full of trouble and tension. In the model described, people live in a manner that runs contrary to their true natures. In fact, a person will be pleased by the moral values revealed in the Qur'an and by those values being shown. Since the opposite behavior, words and deeds contradict this nature, they cause everyone unease and distress. For example, there are compassion, trust and tolerance in the love revealed in the Qur'an. In the love that prevails in Ignorantism, on the other hand, there is jealousy, ruthlessness and a general lack of respect.
This conception of love needs to be avoided rather than chased after. The right thing to do is to act in the light of the human nature created by Allah, to show compassion and nourish love.
In Ignorantism, the marriages begin when young men and women reach a certain age. Their parents now wish to see their children "settled down" and to reap the rewards of all their years of hard work. Unlike mere courting, marriages in the Religion of the Ignorant generally do not begin with becoming naturally acquainted.
Since it is thought that men and women of a certain age need to get married, a number of methods try to bring this about. If people are unsuccessful in this, then it is thought the responsibility falls to their families, relatives and friends. The courting period we discussed earlier is regarded as a step toward marriage. If people make poor use of this, then artificial meetings and arrangements are set up. There are well-known and experts in this field, people well known for bringing young people together. Usually of advanced age themselves, they seek out cultured young people with suitable wealth and attractiveness who live in a suitable part of town. Just about every family knows such a person.
The introductory stage of the marriage period is thus initiated. Once introductions have been arranged, the two sides begin examining each other under the magnifying glass in the manner taught them by their families. The time has now come to repay the efforts invested in them by their families since they were very young. A good marriage is essential, both for one's immediate circle, for oneself and for one's family. Once they have met, if the two sides regard each other's social status, clothes, makes of cars and addresses as suitable, dinner and a date are set up. The process of selecting clothes for this date is rather lengthy. Both parties spend a long time wondering what to wear. Indeed, their friends and family also involve themselves in the process, and the outfit to be worn is a joint decision.
Not much time is required for the parties to be convinced on the subject of marriage. The woman will marry if she thinks that the man is sufficiently well off. The man needs to be convinced that she will represent him properly in business or social circles, and will make a good impression on his arm. An engagement is decided on, which means society's validation of dating.
Right from the outset, insincerity is the distinguishing feature of the whole business. The man stretches his limited means by purchasing flowers and gifs, trying to impress the girl and her family that he is prosperous and generous. Marrying her depends on creating a good impression about his financial means. There is absolutely no hesitation over expenditure in this period, because any costs incurred now will be returned to the couple in the form of a house, money, clothes, and prestige. The family soon sets up a kind of public-opinion poll regarding the prospective bridegroom. Everybody's thoughts concerning him are canvassed. The real aim is to find an answer to the question of Is this candidate well liked by everyone around? Information is obtained about the prospective groom's income level and property, and is shared. If his financial position is sound, then his external appearances and moral values are much less important.
Next the families begin to meet. This is a kind of shopping trip. The girl's family calculate what they will receive in return for her—if this not directly in the form of money, it may take the form of prestige, a house or furniture.
Once the decision has been taken, preparations for the engagement begin. Presents are purchased for the girl. The engagement is organized by her family, who expect a magnificent wedding in return. It's decided in advance how much money each side will spend. A full division of costs is worked out. It is decided which side will pay for what, right down to the drinks. Even if the family's financial situation is not strong enough to meet all its expenses, the family will borrow or sell something in order to discharge its obligation. It is very important at this time not to lose face in front of the others, or to give the impression that either one has no money.
Those close to the two sides keenly await the engagement party, when they will be able to eat and drink for free. On the other hand, they also face the problem of buying presents for the bride and groom. How can they get away with the cheapest gift? Those who have something to gain from the couple buy the most expensive gifts, and behave like close family friends.
When one looks at Ignorantist wedding ceremonies, one can observe concern for the deceptive baubles of this world and the sickness of seeking approval of others at the very highest levels. The main objective in staging ostentatious engagement and wedding parties is to put on a show for others. For example, all the neighbors are invited to the opening of the wedding trousseau. The guests then stage exaggerated reactions of how much they like everything. But when they return to their own homes, they generally talk about how poor and useless the objects actually were.
The Wedding Psychology
There are a number of turning points to which members of the Religion of the Ignorant attach great importance. Weddings are one of these. So important are weddings, especially to women, that they imagine that when that day comes, all their dreams will come true. The fact is though, that for many people, their wedding day is most problematic and distressing, because weddings often turn into nightmares due to the tension and lack of submission to destiny.
Not only are the bride and groom and their families calculating their own benefits, but the guests are all calculating their own interests, too. Engagement and wedding parties are ideal occasions for families to find prospective spouses for their own children. They therefore dress their sons and daughters as lavishly as possible and take them along to these events.
Emotional speeches are made at weddings. Some people weep for no reason. Even they themselves do not know why they are crying. Those closest to the family and the elderly weep the most, never forgetting to mention how they personally raised the bride or groom.
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