Because of arrogance, those who fall under satan's influence always wait for another person to show love first, because they think the love they express should be in proportion to the love shown them by another. If they express a more enthusiastic love than that other person, they fear they'll be humiliated. This kind of situation goes totally against their pride. As in every stage of their lives, they experience love only if it does not harm their lower selves and then only to the extent that this pride allows.
But there is no room for pride in the moral teachings of the Qur'an. Love and pride have nothing in common. Where there is pride, there can be no love, because the proud person loves himself more than anyone and anything. Only toward himself does he behave in the way that true love demands.
For this reason, the only ones able to have the best experience of love are believers who have rescued themselves from the passions of their selfish lower selves. All the love that believers enjoy is based on their love of Allah. For this reason, they do not consider love as dependent on the behavior of another. For a believer, the measure of anyone's love is the extent in which he lives to please Allah. A believer naturally feels love for someone who leads the kind of life pleasing to Allah and who fears Him; he makes no worldly distinctions in his love and expects no return for it. Without keeping any record, he expresses his love from the sincerity of his heart. Even if his love is never reciprocated, he will show sincere love, compassion and interest in the other person.
But for someone under satan's influence, lower self comes before everything. He never tries anything that might be uncomfortable for his lower self. For him, it is most important to be praised and admired. For this reason, he waits for the others to be the first to express love, to offer compliments and praise. When someone shows love toward him, he often makes no response, because showing love is always difficult for his pride.
Because of this, he resorts to an insidious game using the silent language of wickedness. We can give many examples from daily life. When friends meet who love and respect one another, they express in various ways the sincere feelings in their hearts. They ask about each other's health, compliment them and behave pleasantly toward each other. Those under satan's influence make excuses to avoid this behavior, which even a child would know how to exhibit. But characteristically, they do all this to make the other person feel that they acted as they did for a particular reason. For example, they give priority to talk about unrelated matters rather than saying any expressions of love. Or instead of complimenting a person's good qualities, they deliberately praise someone else. Or instead of complimenting someone, they speak of the interior décor, furniture and paintings of the house they are in. But if someone were to compliment this person in question, they would pretend not to hear him, or change the subject, so as to divert the attention to another direction. Sometimes, when another person mentions their good temperament, they look incredulous and try to cover up the impression that they think the same of themselves. If there are forced to join in a conversation, they do so uninterestedly and with an expressionless voice so that other people will know that they do not feel like talking. But, at the same time, they want to send the message with their facial expressions that their feelings are not sincere.
Sometimes, interestingly, these people do things totally contradictory to what's in their hearts. Under satan's inspiration, they are inclined toward wickedness and go against the voice of their conscience. But basically, they know what is right and they can see the many lovable and praiseworthy qualities in other people. In spite of this, they insist on practicing a satanic morality.
The behavior urged on these people by satan is very widespread among those who live their lives far removed from the moral teachings of the Qur'an. Even those who claim that they love one another almost turn their friendship into a battle of pride. But among people with faith, there is no such thing. Believers feel a sincere love toward those who practice the morality of the Qur'an and expect no return for it. They attach no importance to who showed love first, how often it was expressed, or how enthusiastically or reservedly. For believers, love is something that attends a good moral character. The fact that a believer always shows love first, always pays compliments, is generous and enthusiastic all indicate his fear of Allah, his belief in the next life and his faith. For this reason, he never keeps an account of these things. Even if another shows him no love at all, because of his faith, he is secure in the knowledge that he is surely loved by other believers.
They claim that they have not received the love
No matter how much someone loves them, those under satan's influence are characteristically unhappy and think that this love is not enough. Usually, because their lower selves desire to be important, they demand far more love, attention and interest than they deserve. They always think they deserve more, and this expectation makes them miserable. But they never consider whether or not they are worthy of this love.
Believers act according to the moral teachings of the Qur'an and, for this reason, they treat others with love and compassion, despite their errors and shortcomings, so that they can urge them to live good moral lives. Those under satan's influence cannot recognize a believer's purpose, nor appreciate that the interest and concern that believers show them stem from their superior moral character. They think that they are worthy and deserve this interest. This situation sometimes reaches the point where these people, in their desire to be important, believe they are perfect and want to be loved more than anyone else. They disparage any kind of love that they think is insufficient.
But, again using satan's methods, they want to make others know their ideas and demands. They never openly say, "I am worth more than that," or "I want to be loved more than anyone else, I want people to think that I'm better than everyone." And even if they are questioned, they deny they think such things and protest with all their might. They say that there is definitely no arrogance in their hearts; that they do recognize their many shortcomings and know they have made many mistakes, and so they don't believe they deserve the privilege of being loved. But their defense is not sincere, since in their heart of hearts, they believe just the opposite. With the methods that satan has taught them, they express what they really believe with a secret language. With these denials, they secretly expect that they will make themselves appear sincere, and make others believe their real opinions and desires. Indeed, they confirm what they had denied with the discontent on their faces and their contrary, uninterested, cold, and officious behavior.
Believers are aware of what these people really think, and that they desire to get what they want through these satanic methods. But only a morality based in the Qur'an can counter their behavior. Praising and extolling someone caught up in his own self-importance, behaving toward him as if he had a fine moral character will only feed his arrogance and do him more harm than good. For this reason, instead of approaching such person with undeserved love, believers give him sincere advice and urge him to live by the moral teachings of the Qur'an. Actually, this is one of the greatest demonstrations of love for anyone who sincerely believes in Allah and desires to attain the good life of the Garden. Those under satan's influence cannot appreciate this and they may behave even more negatively, thinking that they have not received the attention they deserve.
Their excuse for not expressing love is that they
have not received any return for the love they
One of the games played by those whom satan inspires is to claim that they have not received love even though they once loved deeply—and, for this reason, they are cold and expressionless.
First, we must point out that it is not possible to love a person who adopts satanic morality. This person may have many fine moral qualities and, while waiting for expressions of love from those around him, may regard himself as the model for these qualities. But if a person acts according to satan's dictates, his good qualities are shrouded. For example, no matter how industrious, generous or subtle-minded a person may be, the negative personality he develops under satan's influence, his dull, uncomprehending and stiff facial expression and his cold and officious behavior make others around him doubt his good qualities. The important thing is that a person live a good moral life out of his fear of Allah. If he shows a few good moral qualities in some things, but insists on being contrary on other issues, he cannot be sure that his good qualities come from the fear of Allah. And this prevents anyone from loving him deeply.
Also, it is one of the most important indications of love when believers point out others' errors for the sake of Allah, so that they can beware of wickedness for the sake of their life in the world to come. But when people think in the way that satan thinks, they look for negativity in everything; they cannot understand any warning as a positive thing. Their egotistical self-love makes them unwilling to hear anything about their errors and shortcomings; they just want constant praise. However, believers cannot in good conscience refrain from pointing out another person's mistakes. To win Allah's favor, they warn one another to beware of evil:
The men and women of the believers are friends of one another. They command what is right and forbid what is wrong... (Surat at-Tawba: 71)
Actually, those under satan's influence know that believers are sincere in their warnings and that they are trying to win Allah's favor with their actions. But as the Qur'an says, they pretend not to see this sincerity: "And they repudiated them wrongly and haughtily, in spite of their own certainty about them…" (Surat an-Naml: 14) Instead of heeding the warnings and amending their behavior, they shroud their consciences and respond with another satanic method. According to satan's way of thinking, they claim they actually love others very much. But because they do not have a moral character that makes them lovable, they hold themselves back as a kind of a favor to others.
This is indeed totally insincere, senseless and contrary to the Qur'an. If a person sincerely fears Allah and considers that he may not be loved because of his bad moral character, he will immediately amend that character in order to become more lovable. Surely he knows that believers would never insincerely pretend to love a person with unlovable qualities, would always act according to the morality of the Qur'an and would never respond to such methods. Despite this, such individuals get caught up in these thoughts and act according to them, because they have made themselves the representatives of satan.
They claim that their lack of love and coldness
come from their strength of personality
One thought that satan inspires to get people to adopt a morality contrary to the Qur'an is the idea that a strong personality comes from being serious, cold and officious. But many who practice this kind of morality are well aware of the difference between having a strong character and enjoying sincere love. Having a strong character is compatible with the morality of the Qur'an, so it is not possible for this to be in conflict with other qualities that reflect this morality. No law says that someone with a strong personality must be aloof, or that anyone who behaves in a relaxed manner must be weak. This is simply one of satan's deceptions stemming from the insincerity of those who practice his morality. Having a strong character is possible through being a conscious, aware, sincere and trustworthy person who, more importantly, believe and fears Allah; it has nothing to do with being serious or aloof.
These people know this very well. They use this idea only as an excuse to lay the foundation of legitimacy for their satanic way of thinking. As we said in some detail earlier, it is very hard for them to show love for anyone because of their arrogant, self-aggrandizing egos. Or, they deliberately act coldly toward others to protest their behavior, send them a message or to express their own anger or disagreement. And because they know that such behavior is clearly contrary to the Qur'an, they try to express themselves using satan's secret methods and silent language.
As a result, they exhibit a stiff, cold and loveless demeanor in their desire to sway those around them with their secret persuasions. Their basic problem is the insincerity in their hearts. Indeed, they do not fear Allah as they should, do not live according to the faith and morality of the Qur'an and cannot make friends with believers. They know that believers are trustworthy because of their fear of Allah and religious morality, but they can never trust them as they should. As the Qur'an says, they can never be friends or confidants: "Your friend is only Allah and His Messenger and those who believe: those who perform prayer and give the alms, and bow." (Surat al-Ma'ida: 55)
They reflect the sickness in their hearts and thus cannot show love and sincerity as they ought. But, in the Qur'an, Allah reminds us that a person can achieve success only in this way: "As for those who make Allah their friend, and His Messenger and those who believe: it is the party of Allah who are victorious!" (Surat al-Ma'ida: 56) A person who turns his back on this kind of morality will have satan as his friend. And the Qur'an describes this kind of friendship in these words:
… Anyone who takes satan as his protector in place of Allah has clearly lost everything. (Surat an-Nisa': 119)
People act comfortably and naturally around those they trust; they do not feel uneasy that their friends know something about them. For example, even if a mother knows that her child has some shortcomings or makes some mistakes, this does not make either of them uncomfortable. As a kindness to her child, the mother will help him overcome his shortcomings. And the child, knowing his mother's good intentions, will not be embarrassed. No matter what the child's error, his mother will always be loving and generous with her goodness and self-sacrifice. And the child, certain of his mother's unconditional love, will always feel intimate love toward her. The child will never fear that anything will ever get in the way of that love.
This also holds true for believers who seek Allah's favor and who are united with one another in their fear of Him. Believers are one in their determination to be together forever, in this world and the next. As the Qur'an tells us, believers love one another in the intimacy of brotherhood: "Hold fast to the rope of Allah all together, and do not separate. Remember Allah's blessing to you when you were enemies and He joined your hearts together so that you became brothers by His blessing... " (Surah Al 'Imran: 103) They feel constant love for one another, not because of any gain they can get out of it but because of their love for Allah; the measure of their love is Allah's favor. Indeed, as they become more morally good and increase their efforts to win Allah's favor, their bond of love continues to grow deeper.
But those under satan's influence do not understand this. Their ideas are very different from those of sincere believers. Because their bond with Allah and believers is not strong enough, they cannot form a real, intimate friendship with them. For this reason, they deliberately shy away from any one-sided, unreciprocated love.
Of course, as in every case, this behavior harms no one but themselves. They deprive themselves of Allah's greatest blessings—giving and receiving love and the enjoyment of caring intimacy. No matter how many acquaintances they may have, they will live a lonely life in their arrogance. Because their moral behavior is far removed from that of the Qur'an, they will not have any friends in the Afterlife either:
Therefore here today he has no friend ... (Surat al-Haqqa: 35)
They avoid being pleasant, saying kind things
and paying compliments
In the Qur'an, Allah reminds us of the importance of saying kind things:
... A good tree whose roots are firm and whose branches are in heaven? It bears fruit regularly by its Lord's permission. Allah makes metaphors for people so that hopefully they will pay heed. (Surah Ibrahim: 24-25)
Again in another verse, Allah tells people to say the kindest things to one another, or else satan will come among them and ruin their relationships:
Say to My servants that they should only say the best. Satan wants to stir up trouble between them. Satan is an outright enemy to man. (Surat al-Isra': 53)
Believers, wanting to live every moment of their lives in a way that will please Allah, make it their intention always to say the kindest things to one another, as these verses enjoin. But those who order their lives according to the will of satan, adopt a totally different kind of behavior. There are many reasons why they avoid saying kind words, paying compliments and engaging in pleasant conversation.
As in every case, what gets in the way of these individuals' ability to say kind things is their arrogance. The major characteristic of any arrogant individual is that he places his own lower self before everything else. All other things, even the basic aim of winning Allah's favor, come after that.
It's very difficult for such a person to put aside the arrogance so important to him and to speak kindly to those around him. He cannot pay a compliment or enter into pleasant conversation, because he regards himself as the most intelligent human being in the world. This being the case, he cannot willingly praise anyone else. Again, in his own view, he is the most logical person on earth, and it is therefore unbefitting him to listen to what anyone else says. He thinks that he has the finest qualities and so, should never pay compliments; others should compliment him!
Another reason why these people avoid saying kind words is the feelings of resentment or jealousy in their hearts. Allah tells us in the Qur'an that the human lower self is prone to jealousy and selfishness: "... people are prone to selfish greed... " (Surat an-Nisa': 128) Believers who fear Allah take refuge in Him against jealousy, as this verse says, and train their lower selves in this way. They see Allah's wonderful manifestations in everything around them and cannot help speaking enthusiastically about them. They insist on expressing the joy they feel at the good things and successes they receive from Allah and are thankful for the blessings He has given, while naturally reflecting their inner love and enthusiasm.
But those who follow satan cannot take pleasure from their blessings nor live a contented life. In such a state, they are drawn into jealousy and anger when they see sincere believers taking pleasure from their blessings and being happy, content and joyful. However, they too can enjoy the same good life that has been promised to everyone who believes in Allah, does good works and lives a good and moral life. Because they, by their own will, have adopted the morality of satan, they are doomed to lead an unhappy life; and they become jealous of believers who do enjoy these blessings.
They avoid speaking openly of the grudges and jealousy that grow in their hearts by the intimations of satan, but resort to his silent language. In the face of the good things, blessings and successes that they see around them, they prefer to keep silent. If possible, they try to let them pass without mentioning them. In their anger, they resort to the method of silent protest, expressing their negative thoughts and discontentment with a determined silence.
By their refusal to say kind words and establish an atmosphere of lively conversation, these people hope to make it clear that they have little respect for the people they are speaking with—not because they see no value in others, but because of their jealousy and arrogance that comes from their offended lower selves. But as with all the instances of secret wickedness we have examined, these people deliberately behave so that they will not be discovered and be revealed in their true colors. If everyone around them is speaking kind words, and they realize that remaining silent will reveal the wickedness inside them, they resort to different methods.
Sometimes they stammer as if unable to find the right words, or pretend they find it difficult to explain what they mean. Or, if they are compelled to say something, they do it with insincerity. Sometimes they complain that they couldn't express themselves in the way they wanted, displaying their coldness and disinterest in hidden language. Or they'll first pretend to speak kind words or pay a compliment and then try to retract it by adding a further, stealthily designed sentence. Being under satan's influence, their lower selves find it difficult to say anything good about anything. Even if they like something very much, they refer to it in words that give no sense of its real value. For example, instead of saying "Very nice," they're quick to give a non-committal "Not bad." They use many other such methods that express their insincerity, and each of them is the insidious work of satan.
It must be understood that with their insidious behavior and message-laden words, they are only causing themselves anxiety. None of their words has any harmful influence on believers. On the contrary, they actually help believers to recognize people with insincere hearts and to see the games satan plays with human beings.
They try to make themselves seem mysterious to
attract attention
Another silent method that those under satan's influence use to attract the attention of others is to make themselves seem mysterious. To this end, as stated earlier, they assume a stiff, silent and lifeless pose to make themselves seem different from what they are. They make sure that their assumed character leaves an even more negative impression than their true character. It is difficult to know what they gain from this. No one wants to be known as a difficult person. If he has several good qualities, he will not want to stress his negative ones. On the contrary, he will always want to be seen as more intelligent than he really is, more good-humored, more trustworthy, with a distinctive personality. That anyone exerts the energy to be perceived as negative surely comes from satan's efforts to confuse him and divert him from the true path.
As in all his other methods, this insidious tactic of satan has nothing to do with the moral teachings of the Qur'an. Anyone who knows what faith is would never knowingly present himself as mysterious. On the contrary, he'd do everything to make it clear that he was honest and trustworthy open and sincere. It is the mark of a hypocrite to behave mysteriously, make himself appear different from how he really is and to engage in secret conversations. Many verses of the Qur'an relates how, when prophets introduced themselves to the people to whom they were sent, they first stated that they were trustworthy individuals. Noah introduced himself in this way:
When their brother Nuh said to them, "Will you not guard against evil? I am a faithful Messenger to you. So fear Allah and obey me." (Surat ash-Shu'ara': 106-108)
Devout believers take this moral behavior of the prophets as a model. Those who follow satan know this truth very well. But because their minds are clouded and their consciences shrouded, they determinedly embrace his methods. They believe that by seeming opaque and inscrutable, individuals whose thoughts and feelings cannot be read, they will rise to important positions. To make others take an interest in them, they try to make themselves appear inscrutable and secretive, of unknown intentions. They do not mind being persistent. Yet even attracting other people's attention gives them no solace. They themselves aren't even aware of what they hope to gain from appearing mysterious. They know only that they want to attract interest and do not consider whether they will earn their acquaintances' love or hatred. Satan makes them forget this important aspect. Only when they realize that their satanic behavior leads them to a dead end will they begin to consider it.
If they were asked scores of questions, no answers they gave would let anyone figure them out. They would give misleading answers so that the questioner would have to ask what they meant. In this way, they think to become the main focus of attention of those around them. They take this as a sign that others respect them greatly and would go to any difficulty to win them over. And they think that other people, witnessing the interest being taken in them, will respect them too, elevate them in their esteem and regard them as important individuals. Attaining such a result from this perverse behavior is possible only for someone who does not act according to the moral teachings of the Qur'an, who doesn't consider that the only measure of superiority is piety and closeness to Allah. Those with faith know that such behavior is not in accordance with the Qur'an.
For this reason, Muslims have an honest character. Their motives are transparent. There is no moral flaw in their behavior, and nothing they do arouses suspicion. They act according to the morality of the Qur'an; therefore, by Allah's will, their words and deeds leave a positive impression on others around them. No one wonders "Why did she say such a thing?" or "Did he imply something?; and no one doubts the intention of their words. They carefully avoid giving any impression of mystery. The Qur'an tells us that Allah leads believers on the true path and shows them satan's wicked morality:
... However, Allah has given you love of faith and made it pleasing to your hearts, and has made disbelief, deviance and disobedience hateful to you. People such as these are rightly guided. (Surat al-Hujurat: 7)
But because they act with satan's calculating insidiousness, those who live apart from the morality of the Qur'an think that being mysterious will make them more attractive and interesting to others. The desire to be different from others presses heavily on them, giving them a suspicious, disquieting and inscrutable look. They appear to be one whose secret plans cannot be fathomed. Then they expect Muslims to figure them out and understand their aspirations.
However, Muslims wish to see good morality flourish in the whole world and undertake important responsibilities toward this end. But these others who want to vaunt their own importance lay aside everything else in hopes that people will take an interest in them. By exalting their own importance, they expect that others will regard them in the same way.
In this, they resort to satan's insidious games. They subject other people to examinations to determine how much others value them and how well they think of them. They use this insidious, senseless method to see if people really love and trust them. With a simple change of intention, they could rid themselves of their perverse behavior, but they are determined not to do so until they succeed in attracting attention. According to their distorted way of thinking, attention is the measure of how much they are loved; if others really love and value them, then they will demonstrate their interest and concern.
Of course, none of this accords with the moral teachings of the Qur'an. Because it rests on satanic ideas, all efforts to attain the desired results will be in vain. If these people do not give up these satanic efforts, silent insinuations and insidious games, they will suffer distress. Gradually, satanic morality will take them over completely and, because they have made friends with satan, they will begin to regard sincere Muslims as their enemies. They judge everything they say and do by their satanic way of thinking and use it to further increase the wickedness in their hearts. They keep these insidious and insincere inferences in their minds as if memorized, and keep them deep in their hearts where they become the source of anger and resentment. And if they encounter a situation that conflicts with their ego, this resentment comes to the surface; and all that information they have collected to use against a person flows out.
In the Qur'an, Allah warns such people who "plot evil actions" against the pangs of punishment:
Do those who plot evil actions feel secure that Allah will not cause the Earth to swallow them up or that a punishment will not come upon them from where they least expect? (Surat an-Nahl: 45)
Now we see that the reasons for these people's inscrutable mysteriousness, stiffness and of the excuses they proffer are all groundless. Indeed, no matter how they try to hide the deep anger in their hearts, Allah sees it:
Allah knows what you keep secret and what you make public. (Surat an-Nahl: 19)
They want to send secret messages with their
lethargy and laziness
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